{"id":623,"date":"2022-02-21T08:25:28","date_gmt":"2022-02-21T08:25:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/?page_id=623"},"modified":"2023-12-02T19:02:44","modified_gmt":"2023-12-02T19:02:44","slug":"other-webisodes-kevins-loan","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/the-office-us-other\/other-webisodes-kevins-loan\/","title":{"rendered":"Webisodes \u2013 Kevin\u2019s Loan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Kevin\u2019s Loan, Webisode 0<\/strong>1
\u201cMoney Trouble\u201d
Written by Anthony Farrell
Directed by Brent Forrester<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Hey Oscar

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0When you get a loan, you don\u2019t have to use it for exactly what you say you\u2019re gonna, right?

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, you do.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0No, but, I mean, once the bank gives you the money it is your money. You can use it for whatever you want, right?

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0No, Kevin that would be fraud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oscar:<\/strong> Every few weeks we have the same conversation. \u201cOscar\u201d \u201cYeah?\u201d \u201cCan I pawn off stuff from the office and sell it on eBay?\u201d \u201cUmm no, Kevin, you can\u2019t.\u201d \u201cCan I say I was an astronaut and sell the movie rights?\u201d What do you think Kevin? \u201cCan I sell time shares of my garage?\u201d \u201cCan I rent out my mom\u2019s car when she\u2019s in Florida?\u201d \u201cCan I be the heir of uh \u2026and and inherit lots of money?\u201d What is he talking about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Let\u2019s say you tell the bank that you\u2019re going to open up an ice cream store but instead you buy an ice cream cart? Technically you are still selling ice cream.

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0I know you have gambling debts.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Gambling debts? What?

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0Promise me you will not take out a small business loan and use that money to pay off your bookie.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0What\u2019s a bookie? I don\u2019t even know what you\u2019re talking about. You are weird. You are a really weird dude, Oscar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevin:<\/strong> Okay, Malone\u2019s cones. This is going to be awesome. [Kevin almost trips on the sidewalk]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Kevin\u2019s Loan, Webisode 02
<\/strong>\u201cMalone\u2019s Cones\u201d
Written by Ryan Koh
Directed by Brent Forrester<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0So, uh, this would be a loan for an ice cream store? Like Baskin Robbins?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0We will be selling ice cream.

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Well I would hope so.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0The business will have a mobile component.

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, I see you\u2019ve underlined that several times here. Uh, what does that mean, you\u2019ll deliver?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0In a way.

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Okay, so other than delivery and the rhyming name what are we looking at exactly?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0We have flavors. [hands over a flavor menu to the banker]

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Flavors, okay Fudge the Magic Dragon. What are the ingredients of that?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Um, ice cream?

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0And you would make the ice cream yourself?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0We would buy the ice cream in a store. Or we would make it our self.

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Do you know how to make ice cream?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bank employee:<\/strong> I\u2019ll be honest this stuff\u2019s going in the recycling so\u2026 if he\u2019s lucky we\u2019ll shred it first to protect his social security number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0I have a lot questions.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0I have a lot questions for you too.

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Really? What kind of questions?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0If you grant me this loan about how long will it take for me to have cash in hand?

Bank employee:<\/strong>\u00a0Not something you\u2019re going to have to worry about.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Niiice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Kevin\u2019s Loan, Webisode 03
<\/strong>\u201cExposed Wires\u201d
Written by Ryan Koh
Directed by Brent Forrester<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darryl:<\/strong> We got exposed wires up there. You can actually hear them sparking, okay? I said \u201cGimme a budget for repairs,\u201d they said \u201cFix it yourself.\u201d And we got metal beams touching metal shelves. First rainstorm it\u2019s gonna be a warehouse full of dead people up in here. [Kevin sneaks through warehouse and out the back door] What the hell?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0So do you have it?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019ve got it.

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0Let\u2019s go. [opens envelope] Kevin this is just paper.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh my God I think we\u2019ve been the target of a sting operation.

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0Come on Kevin, where\u2019s the money?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Are you wearing a wire?

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0Come on, stop playing games. Get me the money.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Please do not hurt me.

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m not going to hurt you. Do I look like I would hurt you? This is a terrible situation you got me into.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m sorry just don\u2019t be mad at me.

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m not going to be mad if you give me the money! Come on man! You have a nice new car, Kevin. Look at my car, it\u2019s so old.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Hey! [Darryl walks out]

Bookie:<\/strong>\u00a0Get it okay? Look at this car! [gets in car and drives away]

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0That little dude may hurt me if I don\u2019t get that bank loan.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Bank loan? What\u2019s your business plan?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m gonna sell ice cream out of a cart.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s mad solid but, uh, you\u2019re never gonna get that loan.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Why not?

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Cause, you\u2019re a nervous sweaty looking man, you know? You project failure.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0[nods] I know.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Come into my warehouse, we\u2019ll talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darryl:<\/strong> I get a hundred up front plus another five-hundred more once I score the loan. Any other nervous sweaty people having money trouble, you know who to call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Kevin\u2019s Loan, Webisode 04
<\/strong>\u201cTaste the Ice Cream\u201d
Written by Anthony Farrell
Directed by Brent Forrester<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0We need a secret signal that lets me know if I\u2019m talking too much.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0If you hear words coming out of your mouth\u2026 that\u2019s your signal.

Loan Officer:<\/strong>\u00a0[female Loan Officer comes in] Hi. Thanks for waiting. [sits at desk] So, Malone\u2019s Cones, sounds delicious.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0So you enjoy ice cream.

Loan Officer:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh yeah, maybe a little too much.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0I can tell by your perfume you are a woman of distinction.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0You have a great\u2026 vest.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Indeed you do have a vest of very high quality.

Loan Officer:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh well thank you.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0I want you to experience something now. Taste the ice cream.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Strawberry.

Loan Officer:<\/strong>\u00a0Mmm, it tastes like Breyers.

Brad:<\/strong>\u00a0[walks in] Hi, I\u2019m sorry. We\u2019ve already passed on this application.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Hi Brad, how how are you? Great to see you again.

Brad:<\/strong>\u00a0Mr. Malone.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Hi, I don\u2019t believe we\u2019ve met.

Brad:<\/strong>\u00a0This is the ice cream franchise? Yeah, we\u2019re not interested.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Before you say another word, I want you to taste the ice cream.

Brad:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019d rather not.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Look if you taste this and turn us down like a man, cool\u2026 we walk out of here like none of this ever happened.

Brad:<\/strong>\u00a0Can I ask you something? Did you make that or buy it from the store?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh boy\u2026 [Kevin stands and drops his briefcase, papers spill everywhere, he makes a mess trying to clean them up] Sorry, don\u2019t. Abort, abort. Brad.

Darryl:<\/strong>\u00a0Its cool we don\u2019t even need y\u2019all. I sure my man has a back up plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0[outside the office with a cart, ringing a bell] Ice cream! Goooood ice cream! Oscar.

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0You got the loan?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0No, I decided I would pay off my debts by selling ice cream.

Oscar:<\/strong>\u00a0Good luck.

Stanley:<\/strong>\u00a0How much for one?

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Ten dollars.

Stanley:<\/strong>\u00a0Goodbye.

Kevin:<\/strong>\u00a0Ice cream! Gooooood ice cream!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kevin\u2019s Loan, Webisode 01\u201cMoney Trouble\u201dWritten by Anthony FarrellDirected by Brent Forrester Kevin:\u00a0Hey Oscar Oscar:\u00a0Yeah? Kevin:\u00a0When you get a loan, you don\u2019t have to use it for exactly what you say you\u2019re gonna, right? Oscar:\u00a0Yes, you do. Kevin:\u00a0No, but, I mean, once the bank gives you the money it is your money. You can use it … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":674,"parent":618,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/623"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=623"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":676,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/623\/revisions\/676"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/618"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theofficequotes.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}